The New Year!

  Looking back on this past year, it has been filled with blessings, adventures, challenges and sorrow. Everywhere you go people are talking about their "New Year Resolutions". We are to look back and reflect over this past year and see how we can improve and are encouraged to set goals for ourselves. My mother said today, tomorrow your slate is wiped clean and will be a new beginning. I looked at her saying, really??? In my head I immediately I was like, OK so tomorrow, the new year, will be better than presents from Santa! I will get my arm back and all the bad is over, we hit reset..right?! HA! Yea I'll keep dreaming.

  Although I would love to have my arm back and erase all the pain and challenges. I have to be thankful how blessed I have been this year. I have been blessed in that I have been able to go to one of the best prosthesis I could find! Advance Arm Dynamics in Dallas, TX.  Your prayers helped me tremendously, my insurance approved my arm and I didn't have to pay 200.000$ for it! I have been blessed by others in that my airline tickets to Texas have been paid for even! This prosthetic company has the greatest staff one could ask for! They truly care about you.  Although I do tend to be a lil rough on my prosthetic and break it from time to time, which is very frustrating! They are there paying for you to overnight the arm to get fixed quickly! Beats waiting in the doctors office for a broken arm lol.
 
  Not long after receiving my arm I was blessed to get to go to Del Mar, California to the "Beautifully Flawed Retreat", hosted by Bethany Hamilton (soul surfer),Lauren Scruggs (fashion blogger and stylist) as well as members of the Friends of Bethany Hamilton Foundation. It was truly a blessing to get to experience that. A family donated their house on the beach for us to stay at! We had a personal chef! We worked out in the mornings on the TRX. Had facials, hair and makeup done along with a photo shoot! One of the top events was SURFING!!!! Yes this girl finally stood up on the bored! It was a difficult challenge with an amazing reward! It was awesome seeing the faces on the other ladies as they surfed! Words cannot describe that day! Lastly I think one of the greatest things that happened was bonding with everyone and the amazing devotions that we had every night! God really moved through the ladies that shared and led the devotions. There were tears, laughter and there was a light of Christ that spread to the unsaved. It was truly moving and unexpected. We all had no clue it would be a devotion type retreat. It was great to just be with girls of different amputations and hear there stories and struggles and being able to share and help one another. We didn't look at one another and think how different we are. We saw beautiful and amazing women in front of us! When leaving we received a package of several books, all kinds of goodies and a freakin TRX! The trip was truly amazing! I cant wait till the next retreat! Friends of Bethany Retreat

Song of Songs 4:7 ^"7 You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you."

  This year has just been surreal. At times it can feel a little overwhelming. My best time to focus and talk to God is in the deer stand. Everyone should have that one quite place where they can talk to God, with no distractions. For me the other day was just a whirlwind of emotions! While in the tree reflecting on this past year. I was struggling and getting frustrated with my prosthetic in the deerstand, my crossbow is pretty heavey for it! But it just hit me, I was like wow I am going to have one arm the rest of my life! It hit me hard! I mean I have been doing great in tasks and daily activities with one arm, don't get me wrong! I guess in your mind you kind of tell yourself that my arm is out of order for now but it will be back to normal in time. I try to just focus on the present not the future, and just take one day at a time. Therefore I had a mini melt down in the stand, crying out why god why? It seems like it is one thing after another and just was not fair! I know.. I know.. life is not fair...but I am allowed to have a poor me moment here and there. I have been reading the book of Psalms this month and it is such a powerful book! I read the following verses and found comfort.

    Psalms 94: 18,19&22
  ^"18 When I said, “My foot is slipping,” your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.¹⁹ When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy. ²² But the Lord has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge." NIV
    Psalms 126: 5-6 
  ^"5 Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy.⁶ Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them" NIV

I just had to remind myself that when storms come, as bad as they may get, there is always a rainbow! An God does not give us more than we can carry. And you have to think..God must think I am pretty dang strong! You just have to pray for strength and God will help you carry the load.

  I can not wait for next year, hopefully doors will open and God will show me the way in how I can serve Him. I am also finally able to be back in the workforce, I am praying for the right job God wants me to have. There is its own challenges when facing this new world as the new me! I lastly am back in the dating world after 4yrs, not only am I a little rusty facing the dating world, but as the new me..it is so much more nerve wrecking! But I know first you have to love oneself, be confident in your skin. If you do not love yourself how can you love someone else? Lastly place it in Gods hands and he will bring you that one special guy, who will love you and think you are the most beautiful girl in the world! I tell people often that the plus side of having one arm is that, when it comes to guys, it weeds out the majority of the superficial guys in the world!

  So just remember no matter what this past year meant to you, good or bad, tomorrow is a New Year! As scary as the new year might seem just remember to trust and lean on God and he will get you through! I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!!!!! God Bless!